Things That Saved Me This Month

TW: depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation

My mental health has not been great this year. As it’s the final days of Mental Health Month, I wanted to share a small coping mechanism that I find really helps me.

When I feel myself spiralling, I try to notice the small things around me, and pay close attention to them; the exact shade of blue in the sky, the feel of the chair beneath me, the motion of the traffic passing by. I find that noting these mundane, microscopic moments helps me to feel grounded and connected to myself and my surroundings, and most of the time it talks me down off the precipice of a steep spiral.

Here are the things that saved me this month.

The satisfying, softly yielding cut of a chestnut mushroom.

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The unexpectedly enjoyable tang of too much pepper in the sandwich my partner made for me.

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The sensory experience of a particularly good, crisp, cool glass of wine.

The rippling joy of a stranger’s laughter, from deep in their belly, amongst friends in the pale morning light, from the chairs of a café on the pavement of Park Street.

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The rhythmic clatter of my shoes on the pavement as I stride, which makes me feel like a powerful important bitch with somewhere significant to be.

The feather-light pressure of my cat resting his tail on me.

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The soft nudge of a small wet nose and the bassy ripple of purrs at daybreak.

The sun’s rays on my skin at lunchtime and the soft crunch of gravel underfoot as an old man walks his dog along the path beside me.

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The sway and rustle of the sturdy chestnut tree outside my window.

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The colour pink.

Watching the city unfold from the window of the bus.

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The intricate network of deep folding rivers, crinkled ravines and finely worn trails that map the face of the old lady sitting next to me on the bus.