How to set intentions for the new year properly
Babes, 2023 is well and truly underway.
If there’s one thing I personally hate about the first two weeks of each new year, it’s the constant messaging from all angles around New Year’s Resolutions. They are, invariably, some variation on “change X about yourself” or “mould yourself into a society-approved box!”. And that’s not even getting into the whole fatphobia of it all.
It’s truly bizarre the 180 that our society collectively does on 1 January. We spend a solid six weeks revelling in festive cheer, encouraging and even exalting overindulgence, over-the-top feasting and drinking, and general excess, and the second we wake on the first day of January a switch flips and we should All Feel Very Bad About What We Did. Gross. Nah thanks.
Who keeps their resolutions anyway?
We all know that resolutions are seldom kept in earnest. I attribute this to two main things;
They’re typically totally arbitrary and based on what people think they ought to be doing, rather than on what they want to be doing
Most resolutions seem to be focused on taking things away, rather than on adding to your life. January is miserable enough already without adding shame and restriction into the mix
And when your randomly-chosen, guilt-ridden resolutions inevitably collapse, you’ll just feel shit about yourself for not managing to achieve something you likely didn’t want to do in the first place. It’s a perfect set up for failure.
The idea that humans should be optimising and improving and upgrading themselves on a yearly basis like some kind of machine or product is a horrible byproduct of our capitalist world – it’s the same itch that fuels Hustle Culture, the same concept that business bros masturbate over. It’s gross.
A period of reflection
That said, I get it. I get the urge to use the calendar transition period to pause, take stock, and mark the end and beginning of chapters in your life. Having a vague guide to move you through the year can stop you from drifting and getting lost along the way.
In my opinion, this is what this period is really for, and it’s kind of what New Year’s Resolutions in their traditional form are getting at. But they’re going about it all wrong and encouraging people to shoot for the moon.
Rather than being a product to be optimised and fine tuned, think of the journey you’re on.
Reflect on what the past year has brought you – what have you lost? What have you gained? What surprised you?
Then think ahead: in 365 days’ time, what do I want to have happened? Then work backwards from that and figure out what’s going to make you happy – truly happy – and/or move you closer towards the life and self you want. Voila – there are your goals. If it helps you to categorise them into personal/professional/financial, then go ahead. I personally do do this, but it’s not necessary.
Crucially, this should be a positive exercise. It’s about stopping to take stock and listen to yourself about where you want to go next. It’s about moving into the new year with intention and focus, but not in a weird hustle culture kind of way.
The best lists generally feature things to add to your life, or to continue doing.
Here are some of mine:
Go to Sicily
Continue learning Italian on Duolingo – keep streak!
Close one of my credit cards
Save a certain amount over the course of the year towards a house
Gain four new clients
Don’t fake orgasms
I urge you to take 30 mins to put pen to paper and come up with yours. They don’t need to be earth shattering – perhaps all you want to achieve is learn to cook two new meals this year, or make your rent every month, or take your meds every day. That’s fine! The point is that you don’t need to aim for earth-shatteringly grand achievements.
You only need to aim for the things that will serve you.
If you want to hear us talking at greater length about New Year’s bullshit, check out the latest episode of What Else Are We Mad At?