author: sarah q, satire, TV

D8 a Str8 Valentine’s Edition: How to Do Valentine’s Day and Still Be Punk

Heart-shaped boxes of candy are on sale, Papa Johns are doing heart-shaped pizza, and for some reason my Facebook ads are all lingerie themed. Could only mean one thing: Valentine’s Day is here. That’s right, the least important day of the year has arrived again! Sure, we all know you’re more excited for February 15th – when all the heart-shaped shit is suddenly on sale, but what are you going to do on the day? Why even celebrate at all, it’s not like you’re Emily Blunt and John Krasinski (objectively the best couple in the world, don’t @ me). To celebrate it would surely make you a hypocrite; what is Valentine’s day if not a capitalist money making machine that teaches young girls that love and affection are intrinsically tied to monetary value?

But also, who doesn’t like stuff? I like stuff. Buy me things!

Sticky situation right? Worry not, ladies! I’ve devised a guide to celebrating V day but still staying punk.

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Author: Sarah L, satire

10 Flowers To Buy On Valentine’s Day Instead Of Red Roses

Did you know that each type of flower has its own symbolic meaning? Yep, as if the dating and romance scene wasn’t filled with enough landmines already, your choice of flowers may accidentally send distressingly wrong signals to your beloved. Yikes. With Valentine’s Day upon us, we’re sure you’d love to know how to avoid an embarrassing botanical faux-pas – don’t worry, we’ve got you.

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via Remi Yuan

Plant and flower symbolism dates back to ancients and folklore, and has pervaded throughout art, horticulture and literature. It’s pretty important stuff, so listen up, take note, and make sure you do this flower thing right.

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author: Robbie, pop culture, Topical

Be Your Own Valentine This Year

At this time of year, it can be hard to separate your self-worth from your relationship status, and at times we all can find our self-esteem inextricably linked to whether we’re in a long-term relationship, how much sex we’re having and how often we eat alone. We’re here to tell you that this is utter bullshit. Sorry folks, but it’s all a lie. In the wise words of Oprah Winfrey, from her letter to her 20-year-old self, a lesson you will have to learn again and again: to see yourself with your own eyes, to love yourself from your own heart’.

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While we can’t all be as profound and undeniably brilliant as Oprah, we can all have a go at implementing this sentiment and throwing away the rulebook when it comes to loooove. The way I’d choose to paraphrase this sentiment back to myself is: love yourself better than anyone else does –  not more, better. Only you know how you feel in a relationship or out of one and only you can take the pressure off.

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author: alex, author: alex n, fiction, LGBT+

Small: A Queer Love Story

Short fiction from Alex, our Contributing Editor, exploring the stagnancy of mid-twenties life and the change that can be made in a single day by a single enigmatic stranger.

Ripples from raindrops spread over the surface of the ocean, and bounced off the umbrella in my hand. The air smelled of salt and seaweed. I shivered and adjusted my scarf. Checked my phone, but the buzz just told me I should have charged it hours ago. Long grass whipped around in the wind that buffeted my body as I stood still. My hands shook, and I closed my eyes.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Tears fell when I stopped holding back. I turned away from where the water met the horizon, and walked towards the town.

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author: sarah q, comedy, Creative, current events, pop culture, satire, Topical

How to Date a Feminist || A Handy Guide for the Straight Guy

With Valentine’s Day and the inevitable nuclear holocaust coming up, don’t we all just want someone with whom to watch as the mushroom clouds explode as you eat heart shaped candy? Well, here’s a post for all the straight male readers out there – that’s right, all three of you. Here’s a post on how to date a feminist; because as the world eats itself up, you need someone by your side to blame everything on the patriarchy. Read on straight dudes for the ultimate feminist dating guide.

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“Isn’t it beautiful babe?” “Not as beautiful as you are babe.” “Aw, babe”

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