author: Robbie, pop culture, Topical

Be Your Own Valentine This Year

At this time of year, it can be hard to separate your self-worth from your relationship status, and at times we all can find our self-esteem inextricably linked to whether we’re in a long-term relationship, how much sex we’re having and how often we eat alone. We’re here to tell you that this is utter bullshit. Sorry folks, but it’s all a lie. In the wise words of Oprah Winfrey, from her letter to her 20-year-old self, a lesson you will have to learn again and again: to see yourself with your own eyes, to love yourself from your own heart’.

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While we can’t all be as profound and undeniably brilliant as Oprah, we can all have a go at implementing this sentiment and throwing away the rulebook when it comes to loooove. The way I’d choose to paraphrase this sentiment back to myself is: love yourself better than anyone else does –  not more, better. Only you know how you feel in a relationship or out of one and only you can take the pressure off.

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pop culture, reccomendation, Toots & Boots

Toots & Boots // Last Week in the World

Here again to share what got Boshemia’s passions and frustrations flowing last week, it’s our pop culture toots and boots!

TOOTS 🎉

New York Magazine‘s cover of Parkland survivor Anthony Borges

New York Magazine featured survivors from school shootings from 1946 to 2018 in their latest issue. Anthony (pictured on the cover) saved the lives of 20 classmates and survived being shot 5 times.

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Dressed: The History of Fashion podcast, “Frida Kahlo: Making Herself Up” episode

It’s a deep dive into the history of Frida’s self-construction as an artist and how she presented herself to the world, from her iconic red lipstick and monobrow to her traditional indigenous textiles.

Vanity by Alfred Agache

Agache’s wonderful painting was seen this week by one of our designers but instead of Vanity we’d like to rename it Power; the woman depicted is staring down her painter (and viewers), knows she’s hot, and has no fucks to give.

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The new Carly Rae Jepsen song, Party For One

The Queen of Gay Icons has done it again! When we needed it the most, she’s released a genuine bop about heartbreak and self love. Our musical leader is back!

Philosophy Tube on witches, gender and marxism

A one-man channel exploring all the obsessively interesting politics, ethics and (you guessed it) philosophy you didn’t know you wanted to know about. Here, an appropriately haunting episode: it’s witches, bitches.

The oral history of Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

Continuing the halloween theme we have this gem from Laist.

@makedaisychains Boring Self-Care

This instagram illustrator gifts her followers with simple motivations to do the ‘boring self-care’ that we all need but that mental health can often make difficult to carry out. Her pride in completing everyday tasks such as taking medication as prescribed or going outside, remind us to be equally kind to ourselves.

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BOOTS 💩

(Though short, our boots are in zero ways sweet. Bootability 1000/10)

This horrendous 72 hours of hate crimes and white terrorism in America

And Trump still played Pharrell Williams’ Happy. We ain’t.

Autumn fast fashion / only being able to afford fast fashion

These $10 scarves are great but the environmental cost is not.

Seasonal depression showing up again and pissing everywhere

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by @petunia.byisatg

 

 

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guest writer, mental health, Personal Essay

A Self-Care Approach to Mental Health Isolation

by Kelly Ronaldson. Photo by Naomi August.

This time last year, I was halfway through my first year of university, living in the heart of my favourite city, and on my way to securing my dream career. Things weren’t perfect, but I had an incredible group of friends, a revitalised love for writing and a newfound hope for my personal future. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work out exactly the way you want it to. Within a few months, my mental health began to deteriorate as a severe wave of depression took over and eventually led me back to where I started. Three weeks ago, I packed up everything I owned, drove 250 miles and moved back into my mother’s house.

What I hadn’t considered was how living alone for the past year had clouded my memories of living in an environment where discussions of mental health issues were extremely limited. The truth is, not everyone has the ability to reach out to friends, family or partners and explain what they’re going through. With such a negative stigma surrounding mental health, those who care about us are likely to deny, trivialize or dismiss our feelings and our symptoms, simply because they’re struggling to understand, and trying to explain ourselves over and over can be exhausting.

Living in an environment like this can be toxic, and speaking from personal experience, avoiding these types of conversations can lead to conflict, hostility and emotional repression. Not everyone has access to a healthy and encouraging support network, and having no one to turn to can be incredibly isolating. There are plenty of resources online for people who are trying to help loved ones with mental health issues. But where are the resources for those of us who have to work towards becoming our own support network and deal with our mental health struggle alone?

One of the most significant things I’ve learned on my own journey is the importance of making time for self-care. Even the smallest things will make a difference, like brewing a cup of your favourite tea, or just watching a silly, feel-good movie. It’s the kind of thing you’ll find in every single self-help book on the market, but it’s there for a reason – it works. Sometimes shutting the world out every once in a while and taking a mental health day can be extremely beneficial too, or focusing on something that you’re passionate about. For me, this involves throwing myself into my writing, and pushing myself to discover as much new music as possible, ultimately tackling my own isolation on a social level and serving as a useful and enjoyable distraction.

That said, a crucial element of being your own support network is not allowing the distractions to take over. Let yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling, and if necessary, write it out. Journaling is one of the most common methods for coping with mental health, as it allows us to process and understand our emotions – particularly when we have no one else to confide in. Find whichever outlet works for you, and roll with it. Meanwhile, take note of what your triggers are and learn when to say no if something doesn’t benefit you or make you feel good. This has without a doubt been one of my toughest life lessons, but you should never apologise for putting your mental health first.

With this in mind, make it a priority to get the treatment you need. For some people, this is medication; for others, it’s therapy. Do your research and find out what resources are available in your area. From mental health projects to activity clubs and support groups, every local community has something going on. Ask your doctor, email your local council, or search online, but make the most of local support. Some of us don’t have an immediate support network to rely on, but if experience has taught me anything, it’s that there will always be someone to listen if you take the first step and reach out.

I’m nowhere near where I want to be on my mental health journey, and I know that it’s going to take a long time for me to get there. Taking a step back and moving home, no matter how stressful and hostile the environment may be, has actually been incredibly helpful. Allowing me to employ these techniques and understand what my real needs really are is the most useful thing I’ve learned in 23 years. The most important thing is to remember, however, is that we’re not actually alone; everyone has a story to tell.

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guest writer, news, opinion, Personal Essay, politics, Topical, voices of resistance

Update Our Medicine, Update Our Rights \\ One Nation, Under Illness

Little word about keeping guns out of the hands of the “mentally ill” — I’m sorry to break the bad news, but everyone is mentally ill.

You are mentally ill.

I am mentally ill.

Our president is mentally ill.

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Author: Eileen E., Author: Sarah L, author: sarah q, Collab, pop culture, Topical

Blue Monday Blues || How to Beat Them.

Today is Blue Monday, supposedly the most depressing day of the year. I mean you can see why: Christmas and New Year festivities are well and truly over; you’ve probably already broken your new year’s resolutions; you’re broke from aforementioned festivities and payday is still two weeks away; Summer seems like it might never come; and January weather is bleak AF up here in the Northern Hemisphere (sob sob). Here are our top suggestions of little things you can do to bring a ray of happiness and light into your Blue Monday.

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Author: Eileen E., Author: Sarah L, author: sarah q, Boshemia recommends

Self-Care Guide for Nasty Women

Are you feeling exhausted in the aftermath of the recent election nightmare? Got the mean reds? Wondering how to cope now that life has pulled a Trump card? [Yikes.] We hear you. The girls at Boshemia got together this week to come up with our self-care guide to surviving the next four years of political dread. 

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